Just Another Brick in the Wall

There is a hullaballoo in my home state this week – well, it’s actually been going on for some time.  A school district has adopted a Standards Based Grading (SBG) system, and parents are outraged.  In return, teachers are defensive.  Outraged + defensive = never good.  I have read some of the news articles, the summary of the SBG that the district has adopted, some tweets from both sides, and I have some suggestions for everyone when it comes to school district or teacher practices or student performance.  

First, my credentials:  twenty-one years in education in three states in suburban and urban schools, in public and independent education; a mother of three: one who was top ten percent of his class and whose homework I might have checked once in kindergarten; one who is a solid student who takes on way too much but does it all well by saving much until the last minute or forming study groups; and, one who is diagnosed ADHD and just this week has begun passing middle school math. 

Second, a guiding principle that I have used my whole career as both a teacher and a parent:  the teacher is the expert on the material and instruction and the parent is the expert on the child.  Together, we educate the child.

Third:  Slogans don't help anyone, and every education-related analogy breaks down quickly.

Whether you are a parent, teacher, or student, I implore you to consider these basic ideas when you have conversations with the other constituents in education.

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Sticking Point:  Parents demand changes to a classroom, building, or district policy.  Teachers want to tell parents to get out of their classrooms.

Parents:  You have been through school.  Going to school does not make you a teacher, just as going to a doctor’s office does not make you a doctor.  Communicate your concerns clearly and politely.  Then, listen to the teacher’s/principal’s/superintendent’s response.

Teachers:  You have been specifically trained to educate.  Your job is not just to teach the students, but you must also teach the parents and community about what you are doing in your classroom and why.  Communicate clearly, consistently, and continually with all of your constituents.

Students:  Tell the truth about what the teachers do and say.  Also, tell the truth about your own work ethic and attitude toward the class or school in general.  

Sticking Point:  Parents feel there are too few or too many opportunities to re-take a test or to turn in late homework without penalty.

Parents:  If there is an allowance for a re-take or a do-over, this does not mean your child will fail in the workplace and end up selling crack on the street.  Education is all about do-overs.  (Anyone ever re-take Calc II in college?  How about Organic Chem?  Think about it.)

Teachers:  Students should be allowed to do-over some but getting to do-over everything is unrealistic.  Let students earn back a certain percentage of points missed; let them show you what they know.  Remember, homework is practice and assessments are chances to allow your students to show you what they know.

Students:  Study. Try. Pay attention.  In many classes in many schools it takes real effort to fail. Get to work.  Go for help if you’re lost.  Start a study group. 

Sticking Point:  Teachers don’t like the district grading scale  - or – Parents don’t like a teacher’s grading scale.  Different people want an A-F scale, others want 100-0 scale, others want a 1-4 scale. 

Parents:  It does not matter what grading scale is used.  If the students know it from the outset of the class, they can rise or fall to the occasion.

Teachers:  Be fair and consistent in your grading.  Know your grading scale (wherever it came from).  Remember that everything you do must have a reason, including your grading rubrics. 

Students:  Don’t pretend you never read the syllabus.  Most teachers read it aloud to you and had you and your parents sign it.  If you are ever confused about the grading or you think something has been mismarked – go in after school, privately to talk to the teacher.  Do not try to haggle out your grade during class.

Sticking Point:  Parents are upset because some homework isn’t graded or weighted as they feel it should be.

Parents:  Some homework is practice of what was presented in class.  Sometimes such homework simply earns a “check.”  Just like in life – sometimes you just do the laundry because you have to, not because you are getting a reward for washing everyone’s dirty socks.

Teachers:  All homework, even the “check” homework, should be meaningful and geared towards mastery of the material at hand.  Explain from the outset of the class what kind of homework is just for a “check.”

Students:  Do all homework.

Sticking Point:  Teachers offer some, too much, or too little extra credit.  Parents are upset at whichever way that pendulum is swinging.

Parents:  Extra credit or bonus isn’t bad – it offers students a chance to go above and beyond the basics.  Do you leave an extra tip at a restaurant for a server who goes above and beyond?   Encourage your child to do extra credit.

Teachers:  Offer extra credit fairly and to everyone. Make sure it is asking for “above and beyond” knowledge or skills, not the basics that everyone should be learning. Don’t offer it too often or students will become dependent on it.

Students:  Do all extra credit.

Sticking Point:  Parents talk teachers down at home; students adopt a negative attitude toward the teacher or class. 

Parents:  Do not disparage the teachers or district or school in front of your child.  If you have a concern about a teacher or classroom, take it to the teacher or classroom.  This is especially important if your children are in elementary school.  Your attitude towards your child’s school will largely determine her attitude toward her school.  If you slip up and criticize in front of your student, walk the student through your thought process.  Something like this:  “Well, I don’t see why Mrs. Jones grades that way; it’s ridiculous.” (student hears this)  “But, I’m not sure I know all the facts, and I’m not a teacher.  I do want to understand what is happening here.  I need to learn more.”  Then go learn more and get back with the student.

Teachers:  Teach.  Teach the materials.  Be prepared.  Know what you are doing. Always care - even on the days when you are utterly exhausted. Make your copies the day before you need them.  Teach. Guide the students in learning the material.  Prepare, teach, talk, and grade above reproach.

Students:  Learn.  Try.  It might be hard.  It might not be your favorite thing, but your job is to learn.  All the subjects.

Sticking Point:  “Colleges won’t like it if our teacher/school/district does this!”

Parents:  Colleges don’t like or dislike anything (except grade inflation, but they can spot that a mile away.)  Colleges simply need to be informed – they do not and should not hold sway over what should be done in secondary education.

Teachers:  This is especially for high school teachers:  remember that it all counts for your students.  Whether students are going to college or into a training program or into the work force, your job is to help them be the best prepared they can be.  And, their grades should always reflect that.

Students:  School can be dumb, boring, and ridiculous.  School can also be interesting, challenging, and mind-blowing.  A lot of it is your attitude.  We usually find what we are looking for whether at school or not.

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Finally, remember that oftentimes conversations about education can feel awfully personal.  If a parent complains about a teacher, most often it isn’t personal against the teacher -  it is personal that the parent is worrying about the child.  If a teacher complains about a parent, it is not personal against the parent – it is personal about the achievement of the student.  If a student complains about a parent or a teacher, it is because the student likely has not developed the discernment to see all angles of what is happening.  (That’s a nice way of saying students are self-centered.)  Because so many precious people are involved these education conversations feel personal. 

It is one of life's great ironies that the profession and setting - the one that affects us individually and societally - seems so incredibly personal.  People - adults and students alike - make so much more out of educational conflict than is needed.  So, parents, teachers, students, when you have a problem with something at school: step back, take a breath, count to ten, and really articulate the issue and address it.  It’s really not personal – it’s education.

Ice Storms and Earthquakes: Why Words Matter

The state of Georgia and other points south of the Mason-Dixon have had an uncharacteristic number of wintry encounters in the last month.  We had about three days of surprisingly cold weather, coupled with a few inches of snow. SNOWMAGEDDON paralyzed traffic in Atlanta and in parts of Alabama.  This past week we had some ice and snow that led to downed trees, lost power, and displacement of the population. It was...(drumroll)...ICEMAGEDDON. It was scary.  It was inconvenient.  It was not the end of the world.  Neither of these events were cause for the proliferation of  “-mageddons” that I have seen and heard. 

Not every meteorological anomaly constitutes the end of the world.  Exaggerating is certainly a part of everyday lexicon, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy.  After surviving a plane crash and parachuting into the ocean, Mrs. Incredible (aka Elastigirl from the movie The Incredibles), instructs her children: “…both of you will get a grip or else I’ll ground you for a month.”  We could do with some more people who have a grip.  But, we all lose control of what we actually mean and just say things, right?  Especially in the heat of the moment.  I have heard and been guilty of such extremes in every day speech since the New Year.  To wit:

Example One:

Son #2: “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse, a hippo, and four puppies.”  He had pasta and was satiated.

Example Two: 

Me: “Son, I have told you a million times not to have toys in the kitchen. Not a million times, but it sometimes sure feels like it.

Most of life is just living.  It’s just snow.  It’s just a tree branch (or ten).  It’s a hunger pang.  We seem to have become so bored and complacent in regular life that we need to exaggerate to give meaning to regular happenings.  Normal things can be meaningful, even important without crazed invented language.  Sure, snow in Georgia isn’t usual, but it isn’t Snowmageddon either.  This linguistic phenomenon crept out of social media and into mainstream journalism. A certain amount of serious concern is in order when things go awry, and when this does happen, we certainly get a large dose of perspective, don’t we? 

Then, just as some power was restored, the ice began to melt, and people settled in to watch the Men’s Figure Skating Finals, we had an earthquake.  The quake had an epicenter in Edgefield, South Carolina that was felt distinctly at my home, 28 miles away.  And, by some reports, it was felt from Florida to North Carolina to Alabama; it was 4.4 on the Richter scale.  Youngest son thought it was the coolest thing ever.  High school students were talking about losing their quakerginity.

Um, what?  This is a perverse use of neologism + hyperbole to talk about what is happening. The “–maggedons” had taught their offspring well. Granted, teens have long been notorious for calling everything “awesome” or “epic.”  Unfortunately, there are repercussions from such exaggeration.  If so many things are amazing, then nothing is amazing.  

The movie Notting Hill was unremarkable as a romantic comedy, but the main character, William and his flat mate Spike share barbs, reminding each other to keep things in perspective:

Spike:  Hi, hey, you couldn’t help me with an incredibly important decision, could you?

William: This is important in comparison to let’s say whether they should cancel the third world debt?

Spike:  That's right.  I'm at last going out on a date with the great Janine, and I just want to be sure I pick the right t-shirt.            

Perspective is important.  This is the film where I believe I lost my Hugh Grantaginity, and I didn’t actually remember the main story line, but I did remember the perspective checks that these friends toss at each other.  Words matter and perspective matters and the words we choose for the things that happen around us matter. It is the language that we use that frames our outlook.  Our outlook helps define our resilience in the face of unusual and commonplace events alike.  How we use language defines our interpretations of daily routines and world events.

Can you imagine reading a history book if everything that happened had to have a nickname or the suffix  “-mageddon”?  It was an awesome negotiationmageddon in Yalta where Stalin, Churchill, and Roosevelt all lost their meetingaginity as they discussed the epic future of the post-warmageddon world. Huh?  It seems that in the past we were able to frame events more appropriately.  The Yalta Conference was certainly important, but it was not equivalent to the Rapture.

Our world may have many things going wrong; we will encounter events that require preparation. We will be caught unprepared.  However, we simply need to deal with things, appropriately and with correctly corresponding language.  Snow – even in ill-prepared southern states – is not the end of the world.  Likewise falling branches. Below zero temperatures in the Midwest don’t constitute the Second Coming, and a heat wave in the summer doesn’t mean the mouth of hell is yawning open to swallow us whole. Power loss for three or more days is not fun, for sure; maybe is a challenge; it’s disheartening and worrisome.  That’s it.

William:  (about not being able to find his glasses) It’s one of life’s real cruelties.

Spike:  That’s compared to like earthquakes in the Far East or testicular cancer, yeah?

I don’t advocate that we go around always forcing ourselves and others to realize how much worse others have it than we do.  However, a balanced view of the relative importance of the events in one’s life is really an asset, and having accurate vocabulary to discuss one’s mindset is important, too.  Frightening and bad things do happen.  But, as Mrs. Incredible orders, “I’ll tell you what we’re not going to do: panic.”   To their credit, most people around here did not panic as snow and ice rolled through.  Most people prepared and dealt with the cards that nature handed out.  Many people reached out and helped friends and strangers alike.  It was not epic; it was not awesome; it was not amazing.  What was it then? 

Quite simply, it was inspiring.    

Turkey Talk

The smell of the turkey, the sound of TV football, the torture of small talk amongst family members.  Say what?  Yes, for many of us, as much as we love our family and as much as we want more time to spend with them, the small talk of family events can put us to sleep or get under our skin or grate on our nerves or send us running to the hills proclaiming that we will live alone in a cave forever.  It can be a challenge to connect meaningfully with those you see a couple of times a year, and sometimes even more so with those that you live with, but now are spending a purposeful day or weekend of proclaimed FAMILY TIME. 

Little ones play and share together more easily than we adults do many times.  Teenagers and young adults run the gamut of helpful and cheerful to sulky and texty.   Adults range from pretentious and all-knowing to silent and judgmental.  We seem to be pretty good at talking with those who are at similar stages of life as we are, but shift the ages apart by fifteen or more years, and silence and resentment may take over.  Making intergenerational conversation can be rough.  Let me suggest a few things that might make connecting with each other easier.

Adults, avoid asking your teenage or young adult interlocutor about school, college plans, or majors right off the bat.  That’s all they are ever asked.  Start instead with what they have been reading, watching, or listening to.  Tell them about a cool TED talk you recently watched or a new hobby you are embarking on.  If you must talk school, ask them to tell you the funniest thing that happened in calculus class or about their most recent poetry analysis for world lit.  Start a real conversation. Remember, young people are people too.  They are not just automatons caught in the machine we call education. In creative writing class a few years ago a student wrote a poem about applying to college in which she lamented that the only question she was ever asked was “Where are you going to college?”  The response she wanted to give was, “Fuck you, where are you going to college?”  The repetition of the same themes is dull for everyone, and for the younger person, the answers to such questions can be filled with fear and angst.  Pretend the young people are real, then your time talking with them will be more satisfying for all involved.

Younger people:  engage your adult friends and family in conversation about something more than the weather.  Do not text or check your phone while talking to them.  Look them in the eye.  Smile a little bit.  If they must ask questions about getting into college or majors, answer and redirect to more interesting or comforting topics.  Ask them what they are reading, their latest promotion at work, or the community groups they are involved in.  If you absolutely can’t stand one more “What are you going to major in?”  - make up some unexpected answers ahead of time, give the answer, and walk away.  Use different answers with different people.  Don’t worry, no one will call you out on it, and you’ll give them something to talk about until Christmas. 

To wit:

What are you going to major in?                     Nuclear Biology 

What are you going to major in?                     Literature of Little People
What are you going to major in?                     Sculpture with a Concentration in Nudes

What are you going to major in?                     Genetics of Prehistoric Reptiles

Where do you want to go to college?             Hawaii-Pacific

Where do you want to go to college?             College of Southern Idaho

Where do you want to go to college?             Talmudic College of Florida

Where do you want to go to college?             FU*

What are you doing to do with that major?    Think “Dexter.”

What are you doing to do with that major?    Move to Vladivostok for graduate studies

What are you doing to do with that major?    Laboratory experiments on mole rats

What are you doing to do with that major?    Move back home

Adults, please, please, please do not condescend when a young person tells you what they want to do.  Don’t tell them it is a mistake.  And, whether you think what they are doing is a mistake or not, ask questions.  The more questions you ask about a young person’s goals or plans or ideas, the more you will understand their generation and that precious individual.  Avoid phrases like, “There’s no money in that…” or  “We never really agreed with what your dad did, and well…”  “Are you sure?  You used to be so good at math…”  Listen actively to what those younger have to say.  Make suggestions if you must, but these are young people who need questions asked and a sounding board that doesn’t try to negate away their ideas. 

Why is it so very easy to listen to what eight year-olds want to be when they grow up?  We can listen to their most far-fetched ideas, “I want to be a jewelry maker who is a vet and own a business that gives out milkshakes to children.”  Fantastic!  Even the kids who have no idea, “Well, I want to collect garbage” get a positive response:  “Then, be the best garbage person you can be!”  But, if a twenty year-old has decided a four year degree is not for her and she’s going to do a twelve month program in physical therapy assisting, part-time while bartending, we scorn her for not finishing college.  What is that all about?  Think of the negativity of the nightly news, the economy, the world disasters – these are people who are trying to create and launch a life and a career amidst all of this.  Be positive. 

Younger folks, if you find you are stuck with a negative or frightening family member or someone who is hell bent on telling you horror stories about their neighbor’s uncle’s cousin who went to school to major in that and then was unemployed and had to claw his way out of drug addiction just because of choosing the wrong college – well, stand up, politely offer to get that person another drink and be done.  Yes, many of those who are older than you are wise, have good suggestions, and really do want to support you.  Many of them have few real ideas on how to offer that support in a way that is meaningful and translatable.  Some of them believe they have the monopoly on truth and real life. 

In summary, it may all come down to remembering that we are all human beings with common interests and struggles.  We are all people who are trying to do something with our lives.  The more we are genuinely interested in each other and support each other, the better off we will all be – age be damned and pass the mashed potatoes.

*Note:  FU is the abbreviation for Furman University.  All of these are real colleges and very fine institutions in their own rights.