Ice Storms and Earthquakes: Why Words Matter

The state of Georgia and other points south of the Mason-Dixon have had an uncharacteristic number of wintry encounters in the last month.  We had about three days of surprisingly cold weather, coupled with a few inches of snow. SNOWMAGEDDON paralyzed traffic in Atlanta and in parts of Alabama.  This past week we had some ice and snow that led to downed trees, lost power, and displacement of the population. It was...(drumroll)...ICEMAGEDDON. It was scary.  It was inconvenient.  It was not the end of the world.  Neither of these events were cause for the proliferation of  “-mageddons” that I have seen and heard. 

Not every meteorological anomaly constitutes the end of the world.  Exaggerating is certainly a part of everyday lexicon, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy.  After surviving a plane crash and parachuting into the ocean, Mrs. Incredible (aka Elastigirl from the movie The Incredibles), instructs her children: “…both of you will get a grip or else I’ll ground you for a month.”  We could do with some more people who have a grip.  But, we all lose control of what we actually mean and just say things, right?  Especially in the heat of the moment.  I have heard and been guilty of such extremes in every day speech since the New Year.  To wit:

Example One:

Son #2: “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse, a hippo, and four puppies.”  He had pasta and was satiated.

Example Two: 

Me: “Son, I have told you a million times not to have toys in the kitchen. Not a million times, but it sometimes sure feels like it.

Most of life is just living.  It’s just snow.  It’s just a tree branch (or ten).  It’s a hunger pang.  We seem to have become so bored and complacent in regular life that we need to exaggerate to give meaning to regular happenings.  Normal things can be meaningful, even important without crazed invented language.  Sure, snow in Georgia isn’t usual, but it isn’t Snowmageddon either.  This linguistic phenomenon crept out of social media and into mainstream journalism. A certain amount of serious concern is in order when things go awry, and when this does happen, we certainly get a large dose of perspective, don’t we? 

Then, just as some power was restored, the ice began to melt, and people settled in to watch the Men’s Figure Skating Finals, we had an earthquake.  The quake had an epicenter in Edgefield, South Carolina that was felt distinctly at my home, 28 miles away.  And, by some reports, it was felt from Florida to North Carolina to Alabama; it was 4.4 on the Richter scale.  Youngest son thought it was the coolest thing ever.  High school students were talking about losing their quakerginity.

Um, what?  This is a perverse use of neologism + hyperbole to talk about what is happening. The “–maggedons” had taught their offspring well. Granted, teens have long been notorious for calling everything “awesome” or “epic.”  Unfortunately, there are repercussions from such exaggeration.  If so many things are amazing, then nothing is amazing.  

The movie Notting Hill was unremarkable as a romantic comedy, but the main character, William and his flat mate Spike share barbs, reminding each other to keep things in perspective:

Spike:  Hi, hey, you couldn’t help me with an incredibly important decision, could you?

William: This is important in comparison to let’s say whether they should cancel the third world debt?

Spike:  That's right.  I'm at last going out on a date with the great Janine, and I just want to be sure I pick the right t-shirt.            

Perspective is important.  This is the film where I believe I lost my Hugh Grantaginity, and I didn’t actually remember the main story line, but I did remember the perspective checks that these friends toss at each other.  Words matter and perspective matters and the words we choose for the things that happen around us matter. It is the language that we use that frames our outlook.  Our outlook helps define our resilience in the face of unusual and commonplace events alike.  How we use language defines our interpretations of daily routines and world events.

Can you imagine reading a history book if everything that happened had to have a nickname or the suffix  “-mageddon”?  It was an awesome negotiationmageddon in Yalta where Stalin, Churchill, and Roosevelt all lost their meetingaginity as they discussed the epic future of the post-warmageddon world. Huh?  It seems that in the past we were able to frame events more appropriately.  The Yalta Conference was certainly important, but it was not equivalent to the Rapture.

Our world may have many things going wrong; we will encounter events that require preparation. We will be caught unprepared.  However, we simply need to deal with things, appropriately and with correctly corresponding language.  Snow – even in ill-prepared southern states – is not the end of the world.  Likewise falling branches. Below zero temperatures in the Midwest don’t constitute the Second Coming, and a heat wave in the summer doesn’t mean the mouth of hell is yawning open to swallow us whole. Power loss for three or more days is not fun, for sure; maybe is a challenge; it’s disheartening and worrisome.  That’s it.

William:  (about not being able to find his glasses) It’s one of life’s real cruelties.

Spike:  That’s compared to like earthquakes in the Far East or testicular cancer, yeah?

I don’t advocate that we go around always forcing ourselves and others to realize how much worse others have it than we do.  However, a balanced view of the relative importance of the events in one’s life is really an asset, and having accurate vocabulary to discuss one’s mindset is important, too.  Frightening and bad things do happen.  But, as Mrs. Incredible orders, “I’ll tell you what we’re not going to do: panic.”   To their credit, most people around here did not panic as snow and ice rolled through.  Most people prepared and dealt with the cards that nature handed out.  Many people reached out and helped friends and strangers alike.  It was not epic; it was not awesome; it was not amazing.  What was it then? 

Quite simply, it was inspiring.    

Words Matter

Note:  There are several coarse or vulgar words repeated throughout this blog.  If you are easily offended, please join me another day. 

In the past two weeks I seem to have lost two friends.  I don’t lament the losses, but I want to tell you about them.  Both of them are male.  I lost (although “got rid of” seems more appropriate) both of them for the same reason:  I called them on the carpet for using the word “bitches” instead of “women.” 

Quick time out #1:  let me be fair:  I don’t particularly like it when grown women are referred to or call themselves girls.  If you are over a certain age – let’s say 18 – you are a woman.  At the same time, I like men to be called men not boys or guys after a certain age. To add even more fairness into the mix, I get all kinds of guff from friends and acquaintances when I use the phrase, “When I was a girl…” when I talk about my childhood.  And, my sister will be happy to note that I employ unusual vocabulary choices regularly. So, I will take the hit as a linguistic and diction snob. 

Back to the story.  Both of the males with whom I was talking used the word bitches nonchalantly.  I don’t care.  I have been known to curse like a sailor, and my sister will tell you that I’m the crude one.  It was the fact that these men used the word “bitches” as a perfectly acceptable synonym for “women.”  Wait, what? 

With one of the men, I stopped him by asking to whom he was referring and were they really bitches?  He looked at me quizzically.  “No, no, you know…I mean bitches, you know hos – women.”  No, no, I did not know.  This is a grown man – not a teen still figuring out how to zip his fly. This is a college-educated man.  Well, I let it rip.  I asked him why on earth he thought that it was acceptable to call women, as a group, bitches; I certainly did not call all men dicks or assholes.  Of course, there are those amongst the male population, just as there are bitches in the female population, but that did not mean that these words are acceptable terms of reference for the entire populations of either gender.  He mumbled something, changed the subject, and then made his getaway. 

Quick time out #2: I did my research after that first encounter.  Perhaps I was being overly sensitive?  Perhaps this is the new linguistic norm?  I questioned a few friends and then opened the dictionary.  Bitch is a term for a female dog in the first two entries of the definition in the dictionary I used.  The next entry is noted as slang for a “malicious, unpleasant, or selfish person, especially a woman.”  The entry then goes on with two additional slang meanings and progresses on to the verb definition. 

The other man in question texted me a comment that, again, used bitches to denote all women. . A whole world of people were just called, "malicious, unpleasant, or selfish" - I had to say something.  I texted him back that all women were not bitches, just as all men are not dicks  He discontinued the conversation and proceeded to post a long, interesting status on social media about how those who judge him need to take a step back and reevaluate and get over themselves. 

I’m over myself.  Standing up for the proper use of language, especially as relates to human beings, does not warrant reevaluation on my part.  The words that we use to refer to people, our activities, and our lives as a whole are absolutely important. Just as our clothes and hairstyles tell something of who we are, our words tell even more. If one is using “bitches” or other negative terms to refer to women in general, there’s a problem.  Misogyny, anyone?  Same for women who use the word “dick” or other such language to refer to men in general.  That’s called misandry, by the way.

Sure, I could blame the music industry, movies, pornography, or whatever other societal influences that are out there.  However, when push comes to shove, we are all captains of our own vocabularies and expressions. 

We all have the power to choose the words we use, and the words we use have power.