On the Road Again

I spent a lot of this past summer on the road. I mean – A LOT. And, I’m not even counting the beautiful trip abroad that warrants its own entry.

Late in June we drove from Georgia to Iowa to spend some days finding a place to live here. In that trip, we went from Cedar Rapids to Iowa City to Des Moines to Iowa City to Cedar Rapids. Then back to Georgia. In July, we moved from Georgia to Iowa. In early August, we went from Iowa to Kentucky and back to pick up youngest son. The end of August found me on the road taking middle son to college in Pennsylvania; then, back home and back to work. 

Just today, as a function of my job, I put over two hundred miles on my car driving to two schools and to one of the agency facilities from which I work. 

Yes, I’ve seen lots of roads this summer.  You know what I’ve noticed? 

There’s construction out there. I believe the reports that our infrastructure is crumbling, but while it crumbles there are groups of men and women all over the nation trying to gird it up. Here’s the thing I noticed about construction and driving: I don’t mind waiting in construction traffic if work is actually being done. I understand the need for road cordoned off for no apparent reason until you approach the crew, and you note that the long stretch where nothing was being done is actually a buffer for people who are doing a job I would never want to do much less be able to do: repairing bridges and roads.

The same is true in life. There are times when we cordon off parts of our lives because we need to repair them.  We need to recover from a bad relationship; we quit dating. We need to nurture ourselves after a loss; we don’t go out much. We need to focus energy on building up a skill set; we go to the gym lots or garden lots or write lots. Precious else gets done when we shut down our roads to repair or build ourselves up. Eventually, though, our roads are repaired and they reopen.

The thing that pisses me off is when you’re driving down the road, as I was this past weekend, and the two lane highway becomes a one lane highway. There were cones tall and skinny and short and fat blocking three four-mile stretches on I-80 between Iowa City and Des Moines. I waited for it. 

I knew that workers need their space for safety. I also knew it was the weekend, and it was likely that there weren’t actually any workers, but I would see where they were shoring up the highways and byways that I had used so much this year. 

Nope.

There was no machinery. No workers. No sandy gravelly area where cement or asphalt would soon be poured and smoothed. Nothing. Just a blank, empty lane of a highway. No work being done. No activity whatsoever.

Have you ever met such people? They are shut down and tuned out. Whole avenues in their lives have been blocked off, but there’s no evidence of work being done. Everything appears usable. It seems like it all works.  But they have this shut-off area that may or may not ever reopen.

Such people are traveling through life, but perhaps not traveling well. Maybe they put up the cones for defense.  Maybe they guard their cones jealously, afraid others will trample them. Perhaps they put up the cones so long ago that they forgot all about them. 

I am thankful for the travels I had this summer. I am thankful that middle son drove most of them. (I miss you!) I am thankful for the travels I am having now. But more than all of that, I look around, and I realize while sometimes I’ve had cones up because things were being repaired, there have been time when the road has simply been closed – for no good reason. And, in those instances, I’m thankful for friends and family (you know who you are) who stopped their cars, got out, and helped me reopen those stretches of road.

The metaphor has gone a bit stale at this point, so I’ll leave you with this lyric from Rascal Flatts: “Life is a highway; I wanna ride it all night long. If you’re going my way, I wanna drive it all night long.”

Take down the unnecessary cones. Open up the possibilities. Use both lanes. Keep going.

Home

"Turns out they were right again . . . if it's true home is where the heart is, 

I guess now I'm homeless." 

That lyric has been haunting me over the past two months.  I have felt without a home for a while now.  The transition from Augusta to Cedar Rapids - from Georgia to Iowa - will perhaps be complete when the last box is unpacked (that will take a while!) or maybe once I've been here a year of seasons or maybe there is some other definition of adjustment that I am not thinking of at the moment.  

Change takes time.  I was out of town this weekend, and when the thought of going home flashed across my mind, it was not Cedar Rapids that my mind called up, it was Augusta.  I didn't realize it the first time, but the second time when discussing with my son when we would leave to go home, again, it was a flight image of Augusta that came to mind.

I start a new job tomorrow; when I think of that, an image of my old school grounds scampers through my mind.  I consciously know that I will be working in a different setting at a different set of tasks, but my mind has an ingrained image of work as that old setting.

A quick review: I moved to Augusta to be married.  When that reason no longer existed, I thought of leaving; however different reasons kept me in place. For a long time, I complained - even railed - about Augusta, Georgia, and the South. It was where I lived, but as  location, I never thought of Augusta as home until this past weekend.

In fact, my friends in Augusta can tell you that I have talked about being an outsider or not at home there in varying degrees over the years.  I probably mentioned it most in relation to lack of snow in the winter and high summer temperatures.  Even having lived there fourteen years, when someone asked where I was from, I would say that I lived in Augusta, but I was from Iowa.

Everyone has moments in life when you just feel foreign.  I had it when I first lived in the Soviet Union. The language, the culture, the KGB - it was all foreign.  When I first moved to Augusta, I remember hearing a conversation between a bricklayer and another man; I could not understand one word they were saying.  I asked what language they were speaking.  English.  Huh?  I have a degree in linguistics and have studied languages for the past 25 years.  I was in East Central Georgia, USA, and I could not understand the English being spoken.

It's not just language that will make you feel foreign.  Customs, foods, pace of life, even time zones can play a role on whether people feel comfortable or at home.  People choose their homes or move their homes or stay in their homes for so many reasons.  Whether you have stayed in one place your whole life or moved multiple times, as I have, where, really is your home?

There is a host of aphorisms to define home.  Where our story begins.  There's no place like it.  Where you can be yourself.  Where we love.  Where one starts from.

As I was packing and unpacking boxes and feeling homeless, I started thinking that my home is actually a patchwork.  I have squares from childhood, college, and beyond.  I'm just now realizing that, yes, Augusta is part - an integral part - of that patchwork of home.  Places and people around Augusta will always be home.

My home is
Tara's patio on a breezy Sunday evening, the smells of Shishir's cooking wafting over us;
Liberty's winter solstice party;
the horses that used to run behind our house in Harlem;
Jamie's garage while he grills, Carrie makes her killer onion rings in the kitchen, and we all drink beer;
a chat with Jennifer in the hallway;
our book club with more wine and food than books;
Iris mowing her yard in the mid-day summer heat;
closing Monterrey's with Erin;
the classroom and office and auditorium at my old school;
boot camp and Tracy's "slower than pond water" shouts;
a tour of Franklin's most recent art acquisitions;
Christmas Eve brunch at Katie's;
the purgatorial Kroger parking lot;
appetizers and long talks in Jan's kitchen -
Augusta is part of my home.

I am most in agreement with Tad Williams on the concept of home:  "Never make your home in a place.  Make a home for yourself inside your own head.  You'll find what you  need to furnish it - memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things.  That way it will go with you wherever you journey."

So, that song may need revision.  Because, if home is where the heart is, I'm not homeless - I have homes everywhere, including with my loves in Augusta.

Just Another Brick in the Wall

There is a hullaballoo in my home state this week – well, it’s actually been going on for some time.  A school district has adopted a Standards Based Grading (SBG) system, and parents are outraged.  In return, teachers are defensive.  Outraged + defensive = never good.  I have read some of the news articles, the summary of the SBG that the district has adopted, some tweets from both sides, and I have some suggestions for everyone when it comes to school district or teacher practices or student performance.  

First, my credentials:  twenty-one years in education in three states in suburban and urban schools, in public and independent education; a mother of three: one who was top ten percent of his class and whose homework I might have checked once in kindergarten; one who is a solid student who takes on way too much but does it all well by saving much until the last minute or forming study groups; and, one who is diagnosed ADHD and just this week has begun passing middle school math. 

Second, a guiding principle that I have used my whole career as both a teacher and a parent:  the teacher is the expert on the material and instruction and the parent is the expert on the child.  Together, we educate the child.

Third:  Slogans don't help anyone, and every education-related analogy breaks down quickly.

Whether you are a parent, teacher, or student, I implore you to consider these basic ideas when you have conversations with the other constituents in education.

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Sticking Point:  Parents demand changes to a classroom, building, or district policy.  Teachers want to tell parents to get out of their classrooms.

Parents:  You have been through school.  Going to school does not make you a teacher, just as going to a doctor’s office does not make you a doctor.  Communicate your concerns clearly and politely.  Then, listen to the teacher’s/principal’s/superintendent’s response.

Teachers:  You have been specifically trained to educate.  Your job is not just to teach the students, but you must also teach the parents and community about what you are doing in your classroom and why.  Communicate clearly, consistently, and continually with all of your constituents.

Students:  Tell the truth about what the teachers do and say.  Also, tell the truth about your own work ethic and attitude toward the class or school in general.  

Sticking Point:  Parents feel there are too few or too many opportunities to re-take a test or to turn in late homework without penalty.

Parents:  If there is an allowance for a re-take or a do-over, this does not mean your child will fail in the workplace and end up selling crack on the street.  Education is all about do-overs.  (Anyone ever re-take Calc II in college?  How about Organic Chem?  Think about it.)

Teachers:  Students should be allowed to do-over some but getting to do-over everything is unrealistic.  Let students earn back a certain percentage of points missed; let them show you what they know.  Remember, homework is practice and assessments are chances to allow your students to show you what they know.

Students:  Study. Try. Pay attention.  In many classes in many schools it takes real effort to fail. Get to work.  Go for help if you’re lost.  Start a study group. 

Sticking Point:  Teachers don’t like the district grading scale  - or – Parents don’t like a teacher’s grading scale.  Different people want an A-F scale, others want 100-0 scale, others want a 1-4 scale. 

Parents:  It does not matter what grading scale is used.  If the students know it from the outset of the class, they can rise or fall to the occasion.

Teachers:  Be fair and consistent in your grading.  Know your grading scale (wherever it came from).  Remember that everything you do must have a reason, including your grading rubrics. 

Students:  Don’t pretend you never read the syllabus.  Most teachers read it aloud to you and had you and your parents sign it.  If you are ever confused about the grading or you think something has been mismarked – go in after school, privately to talk to the teacher.  Do not try to haggle out your grade during class.

Sticking Point:  Parents are upset because some homework isn’t graded or weighted as they feel it should be.

Parents:  Some homework is practice of what was presented in class.  Sometimes such homework simply earns a “check.”  Just like in life – sometimes you just do the laundry because you have to, not because you are getting a reward for washing everyone’s dirty socks.

Teachers:  All homework, even the “check” homework, should be meaningful and geared towards mastery of the material at hand.  Explain from the outset of the class what kind of homework is just for a “check.”

Students:  Do all homework.

Sticking Point:  Teachers offer some, too much, or too little extra credit.  Parents are upset at whichever way that pendulum is swinging.

Parents:  Extra credit or bonus isn’t bad – it offers students a chance to go above and beyond the basics.  Do you leave an extra tip at a restaurant for a server who goes above and beyond?   Encourage your child to do extra credit.

Teachers:  Offer extra credit fairly and to everyone. Make sure it is asking for “above and beyond” knowledge or skills, not the basics that everyone should be learning. Don’t offer it too often or students will become dependent on it.

Students:  Do all extra credit.

Sticking Point:  Parents talk teachers down at home; students adopt a negative attitude toward the teacher or class. 

Parents:  Do not disparage the teachers or district or school in front of your child.  If you have a concern about a teacher or classroom, take it to the teacher or classroom.  This is especially important if your children are in elementary school.  Your attitude towards your child’s school will largely determine her attitude toward her school.  If you slip up and criticize in front of your student, walk the student through your thought process.  Something like this:  “Well, I don’t see why Mrs. Jones grades that way; it’s ridiculous.” (student hears this)  “But, I’m not sure I know all the facts, and I’m not a teacher.  I do want to understand what is happening here.  I need to learn more.”  Then go learn more and get back with the student.

Teachers:  Teach.  Teach the materials.  Be prepared.  Know what you are doing. Always care - even on the days when you are utterly exhausted. Make your copies the day before you need them.  Teach. Guide the students in learning the material.  Prepare, teach, talk, and grade above reproach.

Students:  Learn.  Try.  It might be hard.  It might not be your favorite thing, but your job is to learn.  All the subjects.

Sticking Point:  “Colleges won’t like it if our teacher/school/district does this!”

Parents:  Colleges don’t like or dislike anything (except grade inflation, but they can spot that a mile away.)  Colleges simply need to be informed – they do not and should not hold sway over what should be done in secondary education.

Teachers:  This is especially for high school teachers:  remember that it all counts for your students.  Whether students are going to college or into a training program or into the work force, your job is to help them be the best prepared they can be.  And, their grades should always reflect that.

Students:  School can be dumb, boring, and ridiculous.  School can also be interesting, challenging, and mind-blowing.  A lot of it is your attitude.  We usually find what we are looking for whether at school or not.

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Finally, remember that oftentimes conversations about education can feel awfully personal.  If a parent complains about a teacher, most often it isn’t personal against the teacher -  it is personal that the parent is worrying about the child.  If a teacher complains about a parent, it is not personal against the parent – it is personal about the achievement of the student.  If a student complains about a parent or a teacher, it is because the student likely has not developed the discernment to see all angles of what is happening.  (That’s a nice way of saying students are self-centered.)  Because so many precious people are involved these education conversations feel personal. 

It is one of life's great ironies that the profession and setting - the one that affects us individually and societally - seems so incredibly personal.  People - adults and students alike - make so much more out of educational conflict than is needed.  So, parents, teachers, students, when you have a problem with something at school: step back, take a breath, count to ten, and really articulate the issue and address it.  It’s really not personal – it’s education.