Read Between the Lines

I remember the days when my three boys took turns (unwittingly) telling me:

a) how beautiful I am

b) how wonderful I am

c) how they will buy me a mansion and diamonds when they get older and they will go to work and I can stay home and watch cartoons all day

d) how I am the best mommy in the world

e) all of the above

Today was not that day.  Yesterday wasn’t either.  In fact, those days are long gone. 

Today is a new day. 

Here is a sampling of what I’ve had today:

Key:      AJ = son #1  (age: 20)

            CD = son #2  (age: 18)

            NG = son #3  (age: 12)

To be fair:  these are all approximations of sentences or exchanges that happened today unless noted with quotation marks.  These are in no particular order.

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AJ:  Did you know there’s a psychological disorder that you can develop when you have one awesome parent and one loser parent?

NG:  (when I asked why my hip was hurting):  “You are old.”

CD:  My friends worry if you will be in a good mood at school.  (Note:  I am always in a good mood at school as far as anyone knows!)

CD:  Do we have to have a Russian test tomorrow? 

CD: Who won the donuts any way?

NG:  I have a social studies quiz tomorrow.

NG:  (when asked about studying for above quiz):  There’s no quiz.  Who told you that?

AJ:  Massage school and bartending school sound good.

CD:  I am Don Quixote.

NG:  You don’t really know English, do you, Mom? (disbelieving look from me)  Well, I mean, not middle school English.

AJ:  I think a Jack Keroauc kind of traveling around thing would be cool.  (As long as it’s not Chris McCandless, ok.)

CD:  I totally have a good shot at Cornell.

CD:  I’m never getting into Cornell; just sign me up for community college now.

NG:  You don’t know Spanish, Mom.

CD:  What?

CD:  Good just exploit me; I don’t care.

AJ:  Volunteering around the world would be cool.

NG:  I was sad…and perturbed.

CD:  (when told his aunt broke her toe)  Hee hee. Swift.  No, seriously, is she ok?

NG:  I am special.

CD: (in a Snape voice) "Since you’re not doing anything productive (as I type this blog), can you quiz me on this?" (handing me anatomy notes)

NG:  But that’s not what inquisitive means.

AJ:  I hope not.

NG:  I did wash my hair.

CD:  I am magical.  Like a unicorn.

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I think if you read between the lines you can still see the original phrases, hidden here and there, having taken on a bit of a different shape.  The boys are communicating in their own ways.  People tell you things.  Weird things.  Unrelated things.  Incomprehensible things. At unexpected times.

It’s all important.  Listen.  It's all magical.

How was your summer?

“How was your summer?” has been reverberating in the hallways of high schools and across college campuses for the past few weeks.  The traditional “What I did on Summer Vacation” essays will have been read, graded, and revised within the next two weeks.   So, how was your summer?  How was your summer?  How was your summer? 

My summer wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad either.  Like hundreds of thousands of people across the nation, my summer began with the end of school.  I finished my 24^th year in high school on June first.  For sixteen of those years, I was a classroom teacher.  So, a few days, a couple of meetings, and one well-intentioned but always ill-conceived end of the year luncheon after graduation, summer began. Not being a classroom teacher now, though, I work through the summer (like the vast majority of Americans).  The hallways are quieter, but the work continues: testing statistics, best practice research, cleaning out last year’s publications to make room for the next year.  We have things to do over the summer. 

Everybody does:

Vacations.

Cook outs.

Baseball games.

Beach trips.

Family reunions.

We all have things to do over the summer whether or not we work full time during these three precious months.  And, now here we all are at the end, ready to go back and report on how we spent our time.  Perhaps we share some common ground.

I revisited the city where I spent five college years.  I went to two weekend conferences there, and I still agree with myself: this is a great city to live in.  My son, who is a junior there, disagrees and argues that the tenor of the town changes when the undergrads are drunk in the streets.  Yep, I remember.  But, I wouldn’t be a part of that scene if I lived there as an adult.  Still a great place: cultural, gastronomical, athletic, literary opportunities abound.  In between those two weekends, I visited my parents in the town and home where I spent my formative years.  I hung out with a high school friend, a college friend, and a friend of my sister’s.  More traffic there.  I still mostly know my way around there despite an absence of thirteen years.  I feel like I could, indeed, go home again and be quite comfortable. 

Then, I spent some time alone.  Not by design, but due to the fact that eldest son was in summer school, middle son was on a beach trip with friends and then at summer language camp, and youngest son was with his dad.  I found out I can, pretty comfortably, not talk to anyone for hours on end.  A good thing?  I think so.  Middle son was worried that I became anti-social during this time.  Not so.  Also during this time, I was privileged to help a friend who was recovering from surgery.  Yes, I was alone, but I didn’t curl up or wither up.  I did the things that about fifteen years ago I would have lamented never having time to do:  read the whole newspaper, watch the movies I wanted to see, go to the bathroom alone, make exactly what I wanted for supper and then eat it while I read my favorite book.

Finally, it was road trip time.  Ten days up to New York state and back, including lots of points in between with middle son.  It is good to change your surroundings occasionally – from rearranging furniture to just seeing something new outside of the car window – this can refresh your approach to life.  And so it did for me.  We also did some planning for the future; he is a high school senior, and the future looms, inviting him to new places and marking changes for me.

We didn’t go to the beach and, blessedly, I only had to watch one baseball game.  For me this summer was about looking back when we were in Iowa; reviewing the past and the places where I come from.  It was also about discovering peace in the present.  Where I thought there might be panic or fear, I found that I enjoy my own company, and I have dear friends to spend time with.  Finally, in the college visit road trip, I have begun to embrace the future fact that two-thirds of my family will be gone next year at this time. 

Maybe you watched a lot of baseball; maybe you spent weeks at beach or did the family reunion thing.  Perhaps you had an illness to contend with or a wedding that launched you into a new life.  As a teacher and parent, September first has always been more of a New Year than the one in January.  As we enter this New Year, my hope for you is that you embrace what you have learned from the past, you have peace in your present, and some really great plans for the future.  How was your summer?