'Tis the season...to hang out with your kids. They are out of or home from school, and many of us get two or more weeks of uninterrupted kid-time. When my boys were younger, I loved the days of not getting up to rush to school. Sure, they still woke up abnormally early to watch cartoons and demand breakfast, but we didn't have to rush out the door. We could do nothing or everything and we had all day to do it. Lovely. While I fully realize that parents need breaks from kids, even during winter holidays, I have been pondering a recent phenomenon: parents, with no preference to either sex, who are habitually trying to get rid of their kids.
I'm not talking murder here. I'm also not talking about date nights, book clubs, anniversary trips, or other naturally and necessarily kid-free outings. I'm talking about those parents that rarely seem to take their children anywhere (or at least frequently strive to avoid it) unless it is a kid-centered outing. The kids stay at home with one or the other parent or even a sitter when any errand must be run, restaurant is to be visited, or car needs to be serviced. Kids stay at home, attended by Mr. Wii, Auntie Hershey, and the Red Baron.
What happened to the days of being "forced" to run errands (and rake yards and clean bathrooms)with parents? I seem to remember in & out of the car even in Iowa winters: my sisters and I, sweaty little bundles in the backseat, then frozen faces in the parking lots of the grocery store and Ben Franklin and Dot Discount Drug. Nowadays, even here in temperate Georgia, children are too often spared the inconvenience of running around town with mom or dad...or rather, parents are spared their kids' whining around town. So, everyone's happy if the tots stay at home.
But, what is the price of this convenience? Children are not learning manners of public behavior or, really any basic adult-life skills, such as maneuvering a grocery store or pumping gas. And, yes, I'm serious. There are 18 year-olds who can't even begin to find a bottle of syrup or box of tissue at Kroger. I had a student once whose dad took her car and pumped gas into it whenever the tank got low. Then girl went off to college not knowing this most basic thing. As a twenty year veteran educator, I have the utmost hope for the future. Kids these days are, by and large, smart and interesting and talented. Still, parents today do their children a terrible disservice when they don't take their kids of all ages out and about on mundane tasks.
I know from conversations with and Facebook posts from younger friends, former students, and older first time parents, that many parents don't want to be troubled by their kids when it comes to errands. Friends post about their sadness at not being able to go to Walmart because their spouse is working, hunting, or at a baby shower. What?! Bundle up the kids - all of them - and take them. Teach them to sit calmly in the shopping cart, asking for only one thing while at the store. (asking, not necessarily getting.) The consequence of asking for more than one thing? Getting nothing. Guaranteed. Take the kids out to eat in a sit-down restaurant. Life is not Chuck E. Cheese's. Teach them to sit politely and amuse themselves with the kids'menu, hand and word games or even -- wait for it -- conversation with those with whom they are dining. Kids like experiential learning, and it's not happening nearly enough.
When I see harried kids and weeping parents at Applebee's or Target, it occurs to me that these parents have not taught their kids how to behave in these mundane settings. The kids can be fine at home, a playground, or school...but, they don't know proper comportment for society. Everything is either relaxation, fun and games, or serious business. Nope, a lot of life is picking up milk and getting tires rotated. And, more often than not such outings do not require a Chik-Fil-A milkshake or a Sonic wacky pack.
So, this winter break, take the kids to Disney on Ice and the laser tag arena with a built in pizza place, but also take them to pick up dog kibble and a prescription refill at Walgreen's. The future cashiers and waiters of America will thank you, but most importantly, your kids will, too.
I'm not talking murder here. I'm also not talking about date nights, book clubs, anniversary trips, or other naturally and necessarily kid-free outings. I'm talking about those parents that rarely seem to take their children anywhere (or at least frequently strive to avoid it) unless it is a kid-centered outing. The kids stay at home with one or the other parent or even a sitter when any errand must be run, restaurant is to be visited, or car needs to be serviced. Kids stay at home, attended by Mr. Wii, Auntie Hershey, and the Red Baron.
What happened to the days of being "forced" to run errands (and rake yards and clean bathrooms)with parents? I seem to remember in & out of the car even in Iowa winters: my sisters and I, sweaty little bundles in the backseat, then frozen faces in the parking lots of the grocery store and Ben Franklin and Dot Discount Drug. Nowadays, even here in temperate Georgia, children are too often spared the inconvenience of running around town with mom or dad...or rather, parents are spared their kids' whining around town. So, everyone's happy if the tots stay at home.
But, what is the price of this convenience? Children are not learning manners of public behavior or, really any basic adult-life skills, such as maneuvering a grocery store or pumping gas. And, yes, I'm serious. There are 18 year-olds who can't even begin to find a bottle of syrup or box of tissue at Kroger. I had a student once whose dad took her car and pumped gas into it whenever the tank got low. Then girl went off to college not knowing this most basic thing. As a twenty year veteran educator, I have the utmost hope for the future. Kids these days are, by and large, smart and interesting and talented. Still, parents today do their children a terrible disservice when they don't take their kids of all ages out and about on mundane tasks.
I know from conversations with and Facebook posts from younger friends, former students, and older first time parents, that many parents don't want to be troubled by their kids when it comes to errands. Friends post about their sadness at not being able to go to Walmart because their spouse is working, hunting, or at a baby shower. What?! Bundle up the kids - all of them - and take them. Teach them to sit calmly in the shopping cart, asking for only one thing while at the store. (asking, not necessarily getting.) The consequence of asking for more than one thing? Getting nothing. Guaranteed. Take the kids out to eat in a sit-down restaurant. Life is not Chuck E. Cheese's. Teach them to sit politely and amuse themselves with the kids'menu, hand and word games or even -- wait for it -- conversation with those with whom they are dining. Kids like experiential learning, and it's not happening nearly enough.
When I see harried kids and weeping parents at Applebee's or Target, it occurs to me that these parents have not taught their kids how to behave in these mundane settings. The kids can be fine at home, a playground, or school...but, they don't know proper comportment for society. Everything is either relaxation, fun and games, or serious business. Nope, a lot of life is picking up milk and getting tires rotated. And, more often than not such outings do not require a Chik-Fil-A milkshake or a Sonic wacky pack.
So, this winter break, take the kids to Disney on Ice and the laser tag arena with a built in pizza place, but also take them to pick up dog kibble and a prescription refill at Walgreen's. The future cashiers and waiters of America will thank you, but most importantly, your kids will, too.
