"What are you going to do with your one wilde and precious life?" (Mary Oliver)
It is the season of anticipation in the senior hallways of our nation's schools. National notification date for letters of invitation or declination is April 1 - and, no, it's not a cruel joke. A former student called the time period of February 1- April 1 the "cone of silence." There's nothing an applicant can do to further their cause that now finds itself on the computer screens of admissions officers on campuses everywhere. No matter what decisions come, I have seen students embrace the power of this moment. There is inspiration and motivation when you are eighteen and look your future square in the face. At what other time in your life did you feel more like you could do anything? Opportunites are endless. The moment you are accepted to a college seems to open up the future like nothing else can. Being in academia, I have always had the sense of renewal in the fall, but spring is the traditional time of renewal - nature and a college acceptances bear witness to this.
For those of us not expecting the thick envelope from the school of our dreams right now, we might pause and wonder just from where the moments of inspiration, motivation and empowerment come as we load the whites in for a hot cycle, clean the cat vomit from the carpet, check emails, and tell our children to turn off the television. No, doing anything, having real chances to open up the future is not often on the radar screen for those of us knee-deep in adulthood. Many of us feel like we can't do anything because we have to do everything. This could take a middle-aged angstful turn right now, but let us try to avoid that and forge ahead.
When a well-meaning parent, aunt or college counselor said to you, "You can do anything you want with your life," what did that person really mean? There seems to an innate falsehood to this statement. Even in my most athletic phase, I could not have been a professional football player or a starter for the '90-'91 Chicago Bulls. So, no, I could not have been a Deion Sanders, a Michael Jordan, or even a Jay Cutler. Naturally, the question arises: did you want to be those things. Well, no. Not really. But, even if I had wanted to, I couldn't have. So, where does all of this go? Can a person truly be anything the want to be?
How about the reverse? Can you not be anything you don't want to be? I never wanted to be a meth addict. I'm not. So, yes, it seems to work in reverse. I did not want to be prime minister of Canada nor was I ever interested in being an astronaut. Those ambitions have never plagued me, so I guess I'm doing pretty well. But, wait, I never really wanted to be a high school English teacher. As a person who has spent 22 years in high school as a student, teacher, and counselor, I have the opportunity to converse with young people about their ambitions. In the course of such discussions, I am inevitably asked, "When did you know you wanted to be a teacher?" The answer, as unglamorous and uninspiring as it is, is: "Never." I never wanted to be a teacher. Nope. No higher calling to mold the next generation or to be an inspiration the youth of today or to ensure my own immortality through touching lives. I became a teacher quite by default.
I am sure that given a few moments of reflection, my sisters and mother might disagree. I am the eldest of three girls, and I did my fair share of "playing school" with my sisters. After a day of being told where to sit, how to walk, where to sit, what to think, and when to lay on your nap mat, it is relaxing to come home and boss your little sisters around for an hour and a half. To be fair, they enjoyed it. Mostly. In fact, I even went so far as to organize a sort of pee-wee Brownie troupe for my youngest sister when she was too young to join the real Brownies. We called it Nannie Troupe. I think we did a few crafts and maybe even designed a t-shirt with the use of (gasp!) permanent markers. When I started learning Russian, I foisted my knowledge on my youngest sister, as well. Even my middle sister - who quickly found her own interests and didn't really "play school" for long - remembered a few phrases in Russian that I engrained despite her study of German and Arabic. The point here: I never wanted to become a teacher. This was all child's play. My sisters might argue that it was an advanced, slightly polished form of bullying. (Ha! Perhaps that is all education truly is anyway.) But, nevertheless, it was play.
However, I did want to be a diplomat; why else would someone study Russian in 1987? And, to that end I have two degrees in the fifth most widely spoken language in the world. Right, it might be fifth, but I can tell you that a Russian degree is slightly more useful than a philosophy degree and slightly less useful than a degree in art history. A one-eyed monkey can tell you that it would be hard to find a career as far away from a globe-trotting diplomat as teacher & college counselor in private school in Augusta, Georgia.
So, could we be wired to want what we can't have? Probably not. Think of all of the would-be professional athletes. Think of all of the blinded-by-hope-for-instant-fame-and-fortune-auditioners for American Idol; a conservative estimate approximates 100,000 individuals auditioned for season eight. Okay, so you might say that it doesn't matter what age you are - figure out what you want to do and do it. Find a way to make it happen. Of course, at my age, I have to take certain things into consideration: kids, house, job, car, supper, dog, laundry, a washing machine that doesn't stay balanced....right, this list could go on. The question remains: Can we do anything we want to do?
Yes, we can. With more patience and wisdom, we all adjust our life dreams. We can look around today and find a way live and be and pursue our dreams. Doing anything might not be realistic, but we can quit trying to everything and focus on a something that gives us inspiration and empowerment. We may not be waiting for the thick envelope at the end of March, but we can be reminded that the warranty on hopes and dreams is a lifetime one.
It is the season of anticipation in the senior hallways of our nation's schools. National notification date for letters of invitation or declination is April 1 - and, no, it's not a cruel joke. A former student called the time period of February 1- April 1 the "cone of silence." There's nothing an applicant can do to further their cause that now finds itself on the computer screens of admissions officers on campuses everywhere. No matter what decisions come, I have seen students embrace the power of this moment. There is inspiration and motivation when you are eighteen and look your future square in the face. At what other time in your life did you feel more like you could do anything? Opportunites are endless. The moment you are accepted to a college seems to open up the future like nothing else can. Being in academia, I have always had the sense of renewal in the fall, but spring is the traditional time of renewal - nature and a college acceptances bear witness to this.
For those of us not expecting the thick envelope from the school of our dreams right now, we might pause and wonder just from where the moments of inspiration, motivation and empowerment come as we load the whites in for a hot cycle, clean the cat vomit from the carpet, check emails, and tell our children to turn off the television. No, doing anything, having real chances to open up the future is not often on the radar screen for those of us knee-deep in adulthood. Many of us feel like we can't do anything because we have to do everything. This could take a middle-aged angstful turn right now, but let us try to avoid that and forge ahead.
When a well-meaning parent, aunt or college counselor said to you, "You can do anything you want with your life," what did that person really mean? There seems to an innate falsehood to this statement. Even in my most athletic phase, I could not have been a professional football player or a starter for the '90-'91 Chicago Bulls. So, no, I could not have been a Deion Sanders, a Michael Jordan, or even a Jay Cutler. Naturally, the question arises: did you want to be those things. Well, no. Not really. But, even if I had wanted to, I couldn't have. So, where does all of this go? Can a person truly be anything the want to be?
How about the reverse? Can you not be anything you don't want to be? I never wanted to be a meth addict. I'm not. So, yes, it seems to work in reverse. I did not want to be prime minister of Canada nor was I ever interested in being an astronaut. Those ambitions have never plagued me, so I guess I'm doing pretty well. But, wait, I never really wanted to be a high school English teacher. As a person who has spent 22 years in high school as a student, teacher, and counselor, I have the opportunity to converse with young people about their ambitions. In the course of such discussions, I am inevitably asked, "When did you know you wanted to be a teacher?" The answer, as unglamorous and uninspiring as it is, is: "Never." I never wanted to be a teacher. Nope. No higher calling to mold the next generation or to be an inspiration the youth of today or to ensure my own immortality through touching lives. I became a teacher quite by default.
I am sure that given a few moments of reflection, my sisters and mother might disagree. I am the eldest of three girls, and I did my fair share of "playing school" with my sisters. After a day of being told where to sit, how to walk, where to sit, what to think, and when to lay on your nap mat, it is relaxing to come home and boss your little sisters around for an hour and a half. To be fair, they enjoyed it. Mostly. In fact, I even went so far as to organize a sort of pee-wee Brownie troupe for my youngest sister when she was too young to join the real Brownies. We called it Nannie Troupe. I think we did a few crafts and maybe even designed a t-shirt with the use of (gasp!) permanent markers. When I started learning Russian, I foisted my knowledge on my youngest sister, as well. Even my middle sister - who quickly found her own interests and didn't really "play school" for long - remembered a few phrases in Russian that I engrained despite her study of German and Arabic. The point here: I never wanted to become a teacher. This was all child's play. My sisters might argue that it was an advanced, slightly polished form of bullying. (Ha! Perhaps that is all education truly is anyway.) But, nevertheless, it was play.
However, I did want to be a diplomat; why else would someone study Russian in 1987? And, to that end I have two degrees in the fifth most widely spoken language in the world. Right, it might be fifth, but I can tell you that a Russian degree is slightly more useful than a philosophy degree and slightly less useful than a degree in art history. A one-eyed monkey can tell you that it would be hard to find a career as far away from a globe-trotting diplomat as teacher & college counselor in private school in Augusta, Georgia.
So, could we be wired to want what we can't have? Probably not. Think of all of the would-be professional athletes. Think of all of the blinded-by-hope-for-instant-fame-and-fortune-auditioners for American Idol; a conservative estimate approximates 100,000 individuals auditioned for season eight. Okay, so you might say that it doesn't matter what age you are - figure out what you want to do and do it. Find a way to make it happen. Of course, at my age, I have to take certain things into consideration: kids, house, job, car, supper, dog, laundry, a washing machine that doesn't stay balanced....right, this list could go on. The question remains: Can we do anything we want to do?
Yes, we can. With more patience and wisdom, we all adjust our life dreams. We can look around today and find a way live and be and pursue our dreams. Doing anything might not be realistic, but we can quit trying to everything and focus on a something that gives us inspiration and empowerment. We may not be waiting for the thick envelope at the end of March, but we can be reminded that the warranty on hopes and dreams is a lifetime one.
