CCChanges...

“He who fails to plan is planning to fail.” –Winston Churchill

About ten days ago my middle son embarked on an improved diet.  He has modified his starch choices, upped his leafy greens, and diminished his sugar intake.  It’s a good, healthy modification.  He is the lone vegetarian in our house, and although I have never left him without supper or meatless alternatives, he has undertaken to make his own meals. 

One of the things he immediately realized is that he needed some help from me.  He told me what he was doing, and solicited my support – in the form of buying some groceries we don’t usually have on hand.  Almond milk.  Red quinoa.  He told me what he wanted, and I gave him my card to make the purchases.  He couldn’t find one thing, so he asked if I would try to find it next time I went to the store.  Done.  He thanked me and asked where I had found it.  I told him.  He was grateful.  No problem.  Happy to help.

About the second day of healthy eating plan, he was busy in the kitchen, and I was probably watching him drinking a diet coke.  He turned to me and said, “This isn’t that hard, but it does require planning.” 

Isn’t that how it is with change?  Most changes aren’t hard, but they do require planning.  And, they require support.  And communication.  A couple other situations have arisen in my life this spring that have brought this into focus in other ways.

Over the years in the workplace, I have noticed that those who effect the best changes are those who seek advice.  They consult experts; they examine various possibilities before launching a change – just like my son did his research prior to his modifications.

I have also noticed that positive change – anywhere – almost always involves garnering support from those around you.  If the change will affect the lives of others, it is wisest to ask them for their ideas and support – just as my son did before he began.  Had his proposals been outrageous or unhealthy, I would have objected and offered other ideas to help him achieve his goals.

Help is also a key component to making changes.  One can declare a change, but it is so much easier to make changes with the help of those who care about you at home, at the office, or at school.  If I were to just decree a change in my office, my colleague might go along with me.  But, if I consult her, get her input (especially since she has been there longer than I), consider her suggestions, my change might keep its form and my colleague would be on board with me; or, maybe, just maybe, my change would end up being modified and better for everyone.

One thing I noticed about son’s new meal choices is that while I did help him, he undertook the bulk of the work.  In the last seven days, he has made 20 of 21 meals.  Furthermore, he has cleaned up the preparation and consumption of these meals.  He has even gone above and beyond cleaning up extra from his brother’s and my meals. 

That’s what has really impressed me: he rolled up his sleeves and got to work.  He didn’t sit in the living room and proclaim what he wanted and expect me to hightail it to the store or prepare special foods.  He did not recline, saying, “Well, this will all work out because this is what I want, so get on board, Mom.”  He communicated, planned, and did the work.  If we want changes, we must be willing not only to work for them but also to plan. Just thinking about changing his eating habits won’t get him the results he wants.  Simply declaring a change, asking others for support without any discussion, and blindly hoping that change will work out does not succeed.

We check the forecast and buy seeds before we plant our gardens.  Schools spend five months or more planning graduation ceremonies.  Summer vacations are usually the subject of familial conversations and extensive research.  Offices don’t just hope for the best when the fiscal year turns over. 

Let’s all take a page from my son’s book – at home and at work.  Spring is the season for new beginnings.  Positive change doesn’t happen on its own; those new beginnings can only sprout from good ideas watered with the wisdom and support of those around us.