Public Speaking and Shoes

I went to a mini-conference today.  It was sponsored by a multi-national company and related to my job field.  The presenter removed his shoes repeatedly and inexplicably during the session he gave.  He also committed several deadly sins of professional public speaking, according to the commandments that I didn’t realize I have been creating over the years.

   This presenter removed articles of clothing during the talk.  Specifically, the aforementioned shoes.  I don’t mind if a man removes his suit jacket or a woman her sweater, assuming there are appropriate articles of clothing underneath.  While this presenter did have socks on, it was not appropriate to remove his footwear in this professional setting.  There may be professional settings where it would be appropriate:  a surfing convention, a podiatry talk, a pedicure training meeting…but, an educational testing talk?  Nope.

Laura’s Rule One:  clothing remains in place during professional talks. 

Violation of Rule One results in a loss of credibility.

     He clearly approached two of the female participants with nightclub-type intentions, intonations, and questions.  To wit, one of those women is a colleague of mine, and we were looking at senior pictures of her daughter prior to the start of the conference.  The presenter took a passing interest as he moved about the room, but then he came back.  He asked my co-worker if the girl in the picture was her sister.  He then gushed about the girl’s beauty.  Granted, both my colleague and her daughter are attractive women.  But, no.

Laura’s Rule Two: do not “hit on” or otherwise make lascivious remarks about or to anyone in a professional setting.

Violation of Rule Two results in loss of credibility and a possible quick search on the state sex offender registry.

    I really didn’t need a ten minute (no hyperbole) talk about the efficiency of this presenter’s sixth grade social studies teacher.  Now, an admission:  had this story played into an important point in the presentation, I would withhold judgment.  It did not.  I am not.  Also, I understand the idea of starting a presentation with a short, relevant personal story in order to create empathy.  But, then, it’s time to move on.  Professional presentations are about the subject matter NOT about the presenter.

Laura’s Rule Three:  do not add in extended personal stories or information just to extend the presentation or to try to ingratiate yourself to the audience. 

Violation of Rule Three results in loss of credibility and extreme annoyance and a constant checking of the wrist watch or cell phone to check the time.

   “Harvard had a twelve percent admission rate last year.”  Well, no, no it didn’t.  It was right about 6.2%.  I corrected him.  He smiled lamely and removed his shoes. 

Laura’s Rule Four:  Know your shit. 

Violation of Rule Four results in loss of credibility and a serious questioning of all other information presented thereafter.

    He really needed to present information in an organized manner and with real facts and figures.  Making stuff up does not impress anyone.  Also, just because you have a PowerPoint does not mean you are organized.  Pseudo-organization is no organization at all.

Laura’s Rule Five: be organized, stick to the plan, know your shit.  (Yes, that last one bears repeating.)

Violation of Rule Five results in loss of credibility and a chat among the participants at the break and the whole car ride home about how all of the information could have been presented in about 30 minutes, and then we could have gotten coffee before returning to school.

I am pretty sure I have more rules than this, but in the interest of brevity and organization, I will end the rules here.  For the moment. 

As a person who speaks publicly on a regular basis to my colleagues, students, their parents, and total strangers, and as a person who has spent decades of time presenting information in a classroom setting, think I have a pretty good handle on this.

Really, I suppose we could boil some of this down to an observation:  you don’t need fine clothes or a fancy hairstyle or the latest technology to present well.  You just need to keep your shoes on and know your shit.