CCChanges...

“He who fails to plan is planning to fail.” –Winston Churchill

About ten days ago my middle son embarked on an improved diet.  He has modified his starch choices, upped his leafy greens, and diminished his sugar intake.  It’s a good, healthy modification.  He is the lone vegetarian in our house, and although I have never left him without supper or meatless alternatives, he has undertaken to make his own meals. 

One of the things he immediately realized is that he needed some help from me.  He told me what he was doing, and solicited my support – in the form of buying some groceries we don’t usually have on hand.  Almond milk.  Red quinoa.  He told me what he wanted, and I gave him my card to make the purchases.  He couldn’t find one thing, so he asked if I would try to find it next time I went to the store.  Done.  He thanked me and asked where I had found it.  I told him.  He was grateful.  No problem.  Happy to help.

About the second day of healthy eating plan, he was busy in the kitchen, and I was probably watching him drinking a diet coke.  He turned to me and said, “This isn’t that hard, but it does require planning.” 

Isn’t that how it is with change?  Most changes aren’t hard, but they do require planning.  And, they require support.  And communication.  A couple other situations have arisen in my life this spring that have brought this into focus in other ways.

Over the years in the workplace, I have noticed that those who effect the best changes are those who seek advice.  They consult experts; they examine various possibilities before launching a change – just like my son did his research prior to his modifications.

I have also noticed that positive change – anywhere – almost always involves garnering support from those around you.  If the change will affect the lives of others, it is wisest to ask them for their ideas and support – just as my son did before he began.  Had his proposals been outrageous or unhealthy, I would have objected and offered other ideas to help him achieve his goals.

Help is also a key component to making changes.  One can declare a change, but it is so much easier to make changes with the help of those who care about you at home, at the office, or at school.  If I were to just decree a change in my office, my colleague might go along with me.  But, if I consult her, get her input (especially since she has been there longer than I), consider her suggestions, my change might keep its form and my colleague would be on board with me; or, maybe, just maybe, my change would end up being modified and better for everyone.

One thing I noticed about son’s new meal choices is that while I did help him, he undertook the bulk of the work.  In the last seven days, he has made 20 of 21 meals.  Furthermore, he has cleaned up the preparation and consumption of these meals.  He has even gone above and beyond cleaning up extra from his brother’s and my meals. 

That’s what has really impressed me: he rolled up his sleeves and got to work.  He didn’t sit in the living room and proclaim what he wanted and expect me to hightail it to the store or prepare special foods.  He did not recline, saying, “Well, this will all work out because this is what I want, so get on board, Mom.”  He communicated, planned, and did the work.  If we want changes, we must be willing not only to work for them but also to plan. Just thinking about changing his eating habits won’t get him the results he wants.  Simply declaring a change, asking others for support without any discussion, and blindly hoping that change will work out does not succeed.

We check the forecast and buy seeds before we plant our gardens.  Schools spend five months or more planning graduation ceremonies.  Summer vacations are usually the subject of familial conversations and extensive research.  Offices don’t just hope for the best when the fiscal year turns over. 

Let’s all take a page from my son’s book – at home and at work.  Spring is the season for new beginnings.  Positive change doesn’t happen on its own; those new beginnings can only sprout from good ideas watered with the wisdom and support of those around us.

Diets, Juicing, and Exercise - Oh My!

It’s January 10 today, and you know what that means: the two-week rush at the gym is almost over, but I think the Weight Watchers and NutriSystem commercials will continue for another 7-12 days. What is it about a fresh calendar that puts us all in the weight room and on the rowing machines?  The New Year inspires people to live better and be happier, and for many Americans, that adds up to the gym and an eating plan.  But, what if working out a bunch more doesn’t make you happy?  What if replacing meals with grainy shakes in unnatural flavors (spinach-kiwi-lime-kale-banana-flax-blueberry, anyone?) doesn’t tickle your taste buds? 

The New Year brought us the “polar vortex” across the nation, but at the same time, a good number of friends were posting inquiries on Face Book about the best shake recipes, Beach Body Challenges, juicing techniques, and Brazilian Butt Lift groups. Being the subversive friend that I am I posted “Caramel Macchiato” under the shake suggestions; the workout challenges prompted a comment something akin to “How about a stroll to the bar for a pint?”  Yeah, I’m supportive like that.

I have friends who are just recently – as of the New Year – really into juicing or green shakes or eliminating carbs after noon.  In fact, one of the carb eliminators was middle son.  He announced after the holidays he was going to not have any heavy carbs after a certain point in the day.  That’s fine with me, so I told him, “Just tell me what you want to have instead and write the stuff you want on the grocery list.”  This is the son who has been a vegetarian/pescatarian since he was five.  I’m used to dietary accommodations; it would be hard to faze me.  After about a week back at school, he determined that carb elimination is unrealistic for him – just as so many of us determine that three hours a night at the gym and rising forty minutes early in the morning to juice the organic fruits isn’t for us. 

I also have friends who are not just athletes – they are triathletes.  They are those who run the  marathons, do IronMan events, throw in a half marathon for “fun”, and train for 50K events.  They are those who look forward to the weekends not to relax, but to do all the normal stuff (rake the yard, trim the hedges) as well as a quick 15 mile run in the morning, and then on Sunday, you can find them riding an easy 60 mile hilly bike path.  It is a lifestyle that demands planning and desire and support and time.  I admire these people.  I would like to be more like them, but alas, I am a mere mortal.

I’m not against working out.  Like so many others, these New Year’s posts remind me that I can be more active and healthier.  But, at what cost?  I texted with my sister (a 20-year personal trainer and exercise instructor) about this.  I lamented the crowdedness of the gym, the indooryness of the treadmills, the cost, and the time spent to gain or maintain even a modicum of health.  You see, I have things that I want to do, things I must do, and then there’s the gym.  As my sister pointed out, doing the gym even minimally to get that modicum of health will enhance all other endeavors.  She’s right, of course, and I should re-evaluate my time, I suppose.  She also went on to say that if people would eat decent foods when they are hungry, stop eating when they are full, and have treats occasionally, they would be happier and healthier.   

What is it about this time of year that inspires health crazes that fizzle out?  When I look around at the new juicers people got for Christmas, and the crowded ellipticals at the gym I’m a little sad.  I suppose some people are doing these things because they very truly want to and they are getting joy from these new endeavors.  But also as sure as some are zealously enjoying sweating on the stair machine, there are double that many that are trudging through because - well, just because it is the New Year.  They have embraced media and peer pressure to do something they really don’t want to do in order to be someone they really don’t want to be.  I know this is true because I was that person.  Doing anything because it’s the plan someone else has for your life doesn’t just not work - it’s sad. 

Be who you are.  Work out when and if and how you want to; eat salads, juice kale, or have a hamburger.  And, whatever your resolutions or ideas are for the New Year and beyond, remember that life is short, you get only one, and you need to plan accordingly.

Cheers!